In 2017, I moved to Berlin for three months
and I never left.
a project
by
Brooke Cheney
for
Google Innovations
with
Sanj Surati
at
MASE
I think of the city as its mascot:
the bear.
And then it's a grizzly, licking up my tears.
Sometimes it's a teddy, blowing me kisses.
Scan with your phone to see how it feels.
The thing about Berlin is you never know which one you'll get.
To simulate Berlin to me,
I invite you to roll the dice.
Read more about the project
You'll be taken through projects and musings about my adoptive city...
and meet the teddy 🧸 or the grizzly ☠️ at every turn.
Tempelhofer Feld - teddy mode
At any given moment, how many wheels are on Tempelhof?
I like to ask myself this question, and now I'll ask you, too.
Each bicycle has two. Roller skates, four per skate make eight. Rollerblades, usually eight as well, though racing pairs have six. Four for skateboards, long boards, surf skates. One for unicycles. Two for the kiddy trailers behind the bikes, but the kids inside might have a tricycle.
Multiply all those by the number of riders on a 12km² park so flat and paved and tree-less that it could only makes sense as a repurposed airport... and your head is spinning with the dizzying amount of wheels.
We're sitting next to the smooth strip of asphalt by the community gardens watching the boarders patiently paddle by, the rollerbladers zip like hornets, the kids stomping on roller skates. There are kites in the sky. There are lessons and courses and unofficial races. There are little zoomers, big zoomers, sitting ducks, sun catchers, board groovers, disco movers, ball bouncers, collisions, breakthroughs. And on a day like this, it feels like right here is the place to be.
Staying in - grizzly mode
That's right. It's winter, and we're not going anywhere.
Hey, welcome in. Let me take your coat. I didn't realize it was raining so hard. Sometimes this apartment feels like an island, haha.
Around us the floor is covered with piles of clothes and marbled paper laid out to dry that has long been dry. There are dirty dishes on the desks. This space is my art studio and my apartment. It's on the ground floor and there's one window that faces the trash courtyard.
I usually would clean up for a guest, but I'm letting you into my cave. Showing you the state of things. And you are concerned.
But let me assure you, the long stretches of loneliness are balanced by ecstatic moments of connection. I've never been so far from anyone who knows me, and I can be whoever I want to be.
I like who I can be in Berlin: the kind of girl who makes a friend in an instant and follows them through the night. No one is waiting for me, I have no plans.
Being so untethered feels like being free until I remember I'm alone here. And those are the bad times: so hungover that I feel like a metal rod slammed against the wall, riding out one comedown after another.
So many mornings seem not to exist because everyone I love is fast asleep across an ocean. I'm constantly wishing someone would call, scrolling on Instagram, scrolling on Tinder, tying my life to the world around me with every rope I can find... until I decide to snip them all.
So much time in bed. So much time in my apartment, so much time alone. So little light. It's always dark out and in my bathroom’s fluorescent light, I look a little dead.
It's only November. Our first winter in Berlin is just beginning.
Going out - grizzly mode
We have some party tricks.
For example: if you bring cigarettes, don't bring a lighter. We're social smokers so we'll have to talk to someone if we want to smoke.
2. Pre-roll joints and nestle them in the cigarette case. We might be able to share and make a friend. But finding a weed smoker in this city is as rare as a sunny day in Berlin's god forsaken winter. So yeah, about the weed, you never know. But that's why we have cigarettes to offer as well.
3. The convertible outfit. It's important to have different degrees of modesty and comfort available to you, like a tool belt. Here's what we're thinking: bras that can be tops. Tops that can be unbuttoned to become little jackets. If your hot hot shoes that must be worn (and yes wear them) might kill you by the end of the night, bring sneakers to stow away in the Garderobe. We are packing a weekend bag, like for sleepovers.
4. Make peace with the queue. Now that we've finally arrived, all prepared, we must wait. There is no upper limit to the amount of time it could take, so we try not to think about it.
You hold our spot while I go to get us beers from the Späti. We sustain our buzz, talk about our little dramas. Make friends with the guys in front of us, then fade back into separate conversations. Time is passing, the beers are empty, we're looking gorgeous in our convertible outfits.
We're nearing the front. The bouncers lord over the entrance ahead of us like dragons, puffing smoke. The music is loud enough that we feel the beat in our bodies. Our bowels are loosening. Our fate is in their hands.
They look at us. They tell us unfortunately we are not welcome in the club today.
Party girl - grizzly mode
Simple calling: move your body
Everyone grooves to Mr. Dj
He says watch how long I make you wait
And look what I can do:
Keep you up 100 hours
Hold you all within my power
Watch how quick it all goes sour
With one twist of my hand
Dirty party, smelly outfit
Day that wasted into night
Wonder why in flashing light
Everyone’s a dark angel
Big old eyes and empty tummy
Feel a rumble, feeling funny
Hard to place it, best to space it
While everybody grooves
You hear a whisper in the rhythm
It’s some words you always knew
Simple calling, move your body
Mr. DJ talks to you
He says holy cow, I love this track
And you’re my favorite heart attack
Hold your breath and watch your back,
Watch how fast it all goes black—
And everyone keeps groovin
Now the party's going quicker
You find your movements growing thicker
As you dance all on your own
Wonder why the room goes double,
Fail to see it all spells trouble
Someone’s crawling for the toilet
While you keep rolling towards the moon
Forget the words and all the moves
All the edges lined in twos
Hand sweat, brain shake, still sick from that tummy ache,
Glass will crack before it breaks
But you still have your glass in your hand
Grooving through a heart attack
No one sees you start to crack
Cuz everyone keeps groovin
Still the drum is going quicker
You could always hold your liquor
But now the room is spinning faster
And no one knows what’s wrong
Mr. Dj loves disaster
Grinning from his dingy tower
He delights in this late hour
Lets it all go rotten
Hold the wall and start to fall,
Aderall and alcohol
Weed and secobarbital
Mr. Dj loves them all!
And so does everybody groovin
Mr. Dj looks and finds you
Through the fog and all the flashing
Mr. Dj sees you cracking
From the floor you hear him laughing
Mr. Dj loves this track
Before glass breaks it has to crack
Still sick from that heart attack
Hold your breath and watch your back
Grooving while it all goes black
Now there’s broken glass in your hand
